Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Good Days & Bad Days

Today I woke up drowsily as usual, stumbling into my bathroom, tripping over my cat and the sweatshirt I tore off in the middle of my night. But I had this weird feeling my day was going to be brighter than the one before.

It could've been the sweet text message from my fiance that read, "Good morning baby I love u, u will have a great day today!" - which, by the way, is normal because I have the most loveable husband-to-be in the world. However, this energy inside me was burning quicker than yesterday morning, and I liked it.

Why do we feel happy some days and crappy others? I wish I could have that spark of life inside me every day like I had this morning, but I just don't. Some days, I want to crawl in a hole and suck my thumb! Regardless, I think God knows how we feel, and He has a plan for why we feel the way we do.

If it wasn't for those icky, dreary, life-sucking days, I wouldn't know how to rejoice on days that I'm filled with an overarching sense of peace and joy. It's not that these "happier" days are marked with winning lottery tickets or bouquets of flowers. I still face the same humdrum daily routine with the same bumps in the roads - like spilling coffee on my crotch, forgetting my sports bra at the gym, or long and draining traffic every evening.

When we choose to worship God no matter how thick the fog is in the darkest of times, God suddenly sprays me with a good laugh. Sometimes, my heart is moved by something I see, hear or read, and it makes me feel good. Or sometimes, quite often actually, I'm convicted of a wrong I committed, and I can ask God for forgiveness. In an instant, I feel good, so close to God, it's smile-jerking.

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