Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Why Women Cry

Last night, my husband and I had a fight, and I cried. Three things seem to push and shove their way between us, causing tension. Every time, these three hiccups end up making me cry. 

1. Invalidated feelings
2. A forced apology
3. Awkward endings to the argument

These situations flow one by one when my husband and I fight. And let me add, we rarely argue unless these processions occur after I've expressed how my feelings have been hurt. Hence, I'm already feeling vulnerable and sensitive - pleading for his love. Without going into great detail about the context of our fights (because those serve as bigger and better blog posts), I always end up sulking in the bathroom, watching my snotty nose run in the mirror and choking over sobs. 

The funny thing is, I don’t dramatize myself to try to make my husband apologize faster or make him feel sorry for me. I’m not dramatizing myself at all. That’s just me. I can’t help it. I’m dramatic.

I’m dramatic about my husband. He always asks me why I’m still crying after we’ve made up. I cry over the fact we wasted time fighting and arguing while we could have been spending that time laughing or cuddling or anything else positive. And it makes me sad, so I cry.

I cry because every time we fight, I feel wounded. Those hurt feelings will recover over time, but girls need their men to comfort them and tell them it’s okay. It’s like a mourning period. For some of us – ME – every fight is like that. I hope that men will know that us women only do that because we love our husbands so very much.

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