Monday, January 28, 2013

What's Sexy About a Woman

Blonde, tan and big boobs — isn’t that what women normally think a man finds sexy in a woman — an image many of us women will never pull off? Well, girls, it turns out men get turned on in other ways, and some may shock you.

I asked 15 males ages 21-30 to explain to me what they find sexy about a woman. The question was open-ended, because I feel like the way in which men answered would tell me a lot about how they think as well. I received one-sentence answers, but also received two-pages worth of an answer. One of the biggest surprises was how different some of these answers were. None of them focused on the same ideas of sexiness.

Guys, chime in with your thoughts in the comments. Let me know if you agree or disagree with the following observations.

Her Spirit

One thing I’ve learned at a new level this past year is that true beauty is engrained in all of us because God created us. However, that beauty is only unleashed when we have a relationship with God. This experiment confirmed that.

Out of all the answers, one that was repeated over and over (in different words of course) was that men found women the sexiest when their beauty was unique. For Christians, having a relationship with God allows him to use your body as a vessel through which he shines his rare beauty.

A woman’s spirit is sexy when it’s deep and authentic. Men also responded by saying they valued women with an open mind. You see, one of men’s biggest needs is to be honored. A woman with an open mind respects a man’s ideas even if she doesn’t necessarily agree with it.

Her Beauty

Some men ranked a nice booty over boobs. Some said dark hair and others said the color didn’t matter; they just like it long and healthy. I think most of us knew this before, but it was refreshing to hear it from men — that a woman doesn’t have to fit a certain mold to be considered sexy.

“One girl’s certain characteristic may be sexy on her but not on any other girl.” — J

Most men said they prefer an athletic type of body because it shows that she takes care of herself and that she’s goal-oriented. Apparently, men value the firmness of your behind for more reasons than the obvious. Many of the answers regarding a woman’s looks focused less on particular assets and more on evidence that a woman was confident in her own skin — not that her body looked a certain way, but that she cared enough to invest in it.

Her Strength

Another trait that most men find sexy is independence. Most men want a woman who needs their help at times, but they want a woman to be confident in herself. As a Christian woman, I think this is translated that I can be confident in God.

You see, it’s in my womanly nature to pursue a man and have to prove myself to him that I’m worthy, that I’m lovely, that I’m captivating. In my flesh, I am needy. Only with God can I have the attractive sense of independence that’s sexy to a man.

“When a woman can be more productive and efficient in many aspects of life without a man to lead her or walk with her down part of the road, it really defines their character and integrity.” — R

Men want to know that a woman can take care of herself if anything was to happen to the man in her life. One guy said that an independent woman has a “sexy, confident flare,” a “swagger.”

Her Personality

When I asked my husband the same question I asked the other guys, his initial response surprised me. He told me he finds me the sexiest when I’m being goofy.

A sense of humor and an ability to laugh at yourself is attractive to anybody. That’s why funny people always have so many friends. People love them! I think the most important take-away from this is to always be yourself. Let your inner child have fun and learn how to play again.

Several guys commented that they like a woman who’s talented … one who likes to dance or cook or sing. I think this ultimately means that men like a woman who is passionate. When you can commit to learning something and develop a talent, it shows that you’re committed. A woman who is passionate, who loves, cares and thinks deeply is not afraid to be herself and embrace the woman God created her to be. (She’s probably a better lover, too!)

Men said that they liked it when women were friendly to others. A woman who makes others feel good about themselves indicates that they’ll be a good mother. This can probably be proved in more scientific ways than these observations, but it makes sense. If a man sees that a woman is nurturing and loving, then a man may even subconsciously be more attracted to them because at our rawest form, we mate with a future in mind, a family.

My Two Cents

You know what drives me crazy? Some days, I’ll spend hours preparing myself for my husband: blow-drying my hair (a rare event for me), curling it, extra time on my makeup and a special push-up bra to wear. And you know what? I get more compliments from him on the days I meet him at the gym in a sweaty ponytail and a boob-minimizing sports bra.

It’s simple, ladies. Be yourself. Be all of yourself — no more, no less. We get caught up in trying to “do and be the best we can,” instead of learning to trust God to let his beauty shine through us. Stop comparing yourself to other girls because the truth is, they’re probably wishing they looked differently too.

In one answer, a guy pointed out how boring it would be if we all found the same people sexy. It’s so true. God created each of us in our own unique way, with our own unique beauty. Yet, we’re all created in his image, which is mind-blowing because that means we all reflect a part of the Creator’s majestic beauty.

Soon, I’ll be posting about what’s sexy in a man, so stay tuned. Please let me know your thoughts in the comments below. 

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